I came of age on the social fringes of the gutter punks and squatters who viewed catching a little case of the bed bugs (or scabies or crabs, for that matter) as a crusty rite of passage. They would be raising a brown bag of Mickey’s 40 OZ to Brazilian model Sabrina Jales St. Pierre whom People announced is suing Palm Desert Embassy Suites for allegedly giving her a bad case of the skin nibbles caused by bed bugs. Try to get through this story without itching and you win a gold star.

Sabrina, who has modeled for Tommy Hilfiger, Victoria’s Secret and Versace, claims it was the first night into her stay when a tiny army of bed bugs gathered around her, salivating while sharpening their tiny knives and forks together and sprinkling minuscule grains of salt and pepper over her perfect model type skin. Sabrina’s attorney Brian Virag (who specializes in bed bug litagation- that’s a hot specialty) told the Desert Sun:

“Sabrina started noticing the bed bug bites after her first night in the hotel, and eventually she was massacred by bites covering pretty much her entire body,” said her attorney, Brian Virag, founder of the My Bed Bug Lawyer, Inc.

Virag said the model’s bites were among the worst he has seen in his eight years specializing in bed bug litigation.

“Like most victims of bed bugs, Sabrina also had nightmares about the experience, and she still experiences psychological trauma and fear of bed bugs today,” Virag said. “This was especially traumatic for Sabrina because her body is her work, so this severely affected her work and her career. She had to continue working during the hotel stay, but the bite marks all over her body made her feel embarrassed, ashamed and humiliated.”

“Massacred“! “Psychological trauma“! “Ashamed“! “Humiliated“! I didn’t realize there was a step beyond First World Problems, but I guess there are Model World Problems, too. Reports do not indicate a monetary amount of loss due to cancelled modeling jobs because of the bites, and there is no indication that the bites left scars. The “massacre” occurred two years ago and this was the aftermath.

Brazilian model Sabrina Jales St. Pierre is suing a Palm Desert hotel claiming she was attacked by bedbugs during her 2016 stay

Details—> https://t.co/qv2RnEQ72V pic.twitter.com/aSlYheILyu

— KESQ News Channel 3 (@KESQ) June 27, 2018

The General Manager of Embassy Suites, Carlos Mendoza, says he smells a rat, and is calling a “Hells Nah” on the bed bug claims. He says the hotel’s Chief Engineer and House-Keeping (read while tapping a plastic hotel key on your door while trying to sleep off a vacation sized hangover) Manager couldn’t find any bed bugs. To be fair, how hard would you look if you were making minimum wage cleaning rooms and knew there was a bed bug gang waiting to jump you in? However, the hotel also called a pest control company for an inspection and they too found no evidence of bed bugs.

Virag, the My Bed Bug Lawyer (such a hot name), previously won a lawsuit against Hilton Garden Inn in Rancho Cucamonga for $546,000. Palm Desert Embassy Suites is also a Hilton Hotel. Half a million dollar for bed bugs?!!!! Most people who get bed bugs only end up with a pile of ashes from burning all their clothes and sore muscles from dragging their mattress to the curb. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to book a room at the Palm Desert Embassy Suites.

Pic: Instagram

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