Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson pretty much confirmed they’re doing each other by kissing at Heathrow in London. Ashley was also wearing a C necklace. So either they’re a thing, or they’re just gal pals doing gal pal things like kissing at the airport! And I’m gayer than a purple glitter butt hair bead and even I wish I was getting with Cara Delevingne. I mean, she’s Dame Joan Collins’ goddaughter. Enough said.  – Just Jared

The Tonight Show is turning into Celebrity Fear Factor and it won’t be long before we see Dame Jude Dench trying to chug a blended rat shake – Lainey Gossip

So according to Will.i.am, I can lose 20 pounds by cutting out sugar and meat. “I’ll get right on that” is what I said before chomping into a sugar-coated ground beef bar – Celebitchy

Kathy Griffin and Kate Beckinsale had a bikini-off for some reason – Drunken Stepfather

This post on why Denise Richards joined Real Housewives of Beverly Hills should be three words long and those three words should be: for the check – Reality Tea

Matthew Weiner’s The Romanoffs is stuffed full of a thousand white actors you know – Pajiba

Someone definitely has and will continue to fap to this – Towleroad

In that still shot, it looks like my favorite living artist Britney Spears is queefing out another masterpiece – Hollywood Tuna

Ariana Grande did My Heart Will Go On, and I didn’t hate it. Punch me with a bowl of poutine for being a traitor to Celine Dion! – OMG Blog

Today in terrible puns: Sofia Vergara served up some magnificent AmeriCANS on the set of Modern Family – Popoholic

Pic: Instagram

As promised, Hollywood has delivered a reboot of the 2000 Nancy Meyers film, What Women Want called What Men Want, and the first trailer was released today. If you’re into Taraji P. Henson in top-shelf power bitch business suits, you’re going to be all over this movie.

In the trailer, we learn that instead of advertising executive Mel Gibson creeping on women’s brains, it’s sports agent Taraji P. Henson using men’s thoughts against them in an attempt to break through the glass ceiling.

That image above is from right after Taraji’s character discovers what her brain can do. And honestly, that’s probably the same face I’d make if I had just discovered that I was now trapped in a mental prison that involved hearing the inner thoughts of the men around me. I live two doors down from a frat house, so my skull would basically be a never-ending nightmare box filled with inner-monologues about MMA, “smoking hot broads” and Jägermeister.

In What Women Want, Mel Gibson gained access to women’s minds by falling into the bathtub while holding a hairdryer. In What Men Want, Taraji’s magic happens after she meets with a psychic played by Erykah Badu, who offers her some jasmine tea with just a pinch of weed, peyote, and crack. Is Erykah even playing a character? That is kind of how she dresses in real life, and some of the shit she’s said recently definitely sounds like the work of drug tea. Why do I get the feeling that at least once, as she was pouring that tea, she looked at the cameras and said: “So, are you guys filming a movie?”

Pic: YouTube

The up-the-nose angle is never a good look for anyone, but that’s not the most uncomfortable part of this old picture of Safaree Samuels and Nicki Minaj. Safaree and Nicki dated for about fourteen years, and their break-up was a mess-and-a-half (to say the least). Now Safaree is claiming that things were also messy while they were dating, to the point that Nicki allegedly put him in the hospital and he almost died.

This all most likely happened because of a radio interview Nicki gave this morning with Hot 97 in New York to promote her album Queen. Nicki repeatedly dragged Safaree, claiming that he didn’t want to work, stole money from her, and repeatedly told her to stop pursuing a rap career.

Not long after the interview aired, Safaree hopped on Twitter and made a public service announcement to no one in particular (cough Nicki cough) to keep his name out of their mouth. That was followed by a denial that he ever stole a certain person’s credit card or money.

Unless I really cared still I could not let the mention of someone's name get me that riled up. That looks like some1 who either stlll cares or just holding on to a lot of hate towards someone. How many times have I said I never wrote ur raps? Nobody even talks about that anymore

— @IAMSAFAREE (@IAMSAFAREE) August 14, 2018

You hold on to everything. your problem with Dj self is because me and him are so cool and nothing else. You have a problem with mona Scott because she put me on the show. let all that ish go. And now I stole your card? The 1 you gave me he pin for and had me doing ish with?

— @IAMSAFAREE (@IAMSAFAREE) August 14, 2018

Then Safaree moved on from stealing and Euro trips to tweeting the following dark allegation:

Remember the night you cut me and i almost died the police and ambulance had to take me out the crib on a stretcher and I had to lie and tell them I was trying to kill myself so they wouldn't take you to jail. When things like that start happening more Than once it's time to dip.

— @IAMSAFAREE (@IAMSAFAREE) August 14, 2018

Safaree doesn’t specify who cut him or who told the police he was trying to kill himself to avoid getting put in handcuffs. But just eleven minutes later, Nicki sort-of outed herself as Safaree’s alleged stabber by tweeting about an unnamed person who stole her credit card:

U stole my card & told me you thought it was an account with “free money” that I didn’t know about. On God. God will strike you down & more for lying. Ha! Stop saying u packed & left ! On Jesus u came to my house CRYING BEGGING to go w|me to Europe to the EMA’s. I said NO DUMMY

— QUEEN (@NICKIMINAJ) August 14, 2018

But Nicki wasn’t done dragging Safaree. It’s a good thing I’m speaking metaphorically, because literally dragging him by the hair might cause his allegedly bought and paid for hairline to rip off. Yes, Nicki went ahead and possibly outed both Safaree and Tyga as hair transplant recipients.

I should’ve never paid for that gyatDamn hairline!!!! It fell back out cuz God don’t like ugly!!!! You used me but God had other plans!!!!!

— QUEEN (@NICKIMINAJ) August 14, 2018

Tyga shit ain’t fall back out!!!! Y’all went to the same doctor!!! Yours fell out cuz GOD DONT LIKE UGLY!!!!!!

— QUEEN (@NICKIMINAJ) August 14, 2018

Pitchfork gives us a few clues as to what might have happened here. They point out that on her 2014 song Bed of Lies, Nicki raps the following: “I could tell you lying, get the fuck out, don’t yell at me. I ain’t mean to cut you, I ain’t wanna catch a felony.” Meanwhile, TMZ claims that they’ve seen a video from 2014 of Nicki chasing Safaree with a knife. Not to mention that in 2016, Nicki claimed she was being sued by Safaree for emotional and physical abuse (he never actually filed a lawsuit, but merely threatened to sue). At the same time she was putting him on blast for the nonexistent lawsuit, Nicki alleged on Twitter that he had stolen money from her.

This is all such a mess, between the allegations of money thieving and near-death stabbing attempts. This is like Game of Thrones, but drunk on a dozen bottles of MYX Moscato. And poor Tyga getting dragged into this. Although to be honest, he probably doesn’t even care about his hairline being outed, because he’s just too flattered that someone out there thinks he’s handsome.

Pic: Wenn.com

Just because Melanie Griffith has no qualms serving as witness at a wedding officiated by Kris Jenner, don’t expect her to utilize her services! One- Kris probably charges out the ass and makes you invite Scott Disick. Two- after three husbands and four walks down the aisle, Melanie is done with marriage. She’s looking for something casual…just don’t expect her to go looking for it on Tinder, commoners.

InStyle did an interview with Melanie, and it starts with how it’s been 30 years since she starred in Working Girl before segueing into her relationship history. Melanie was married twice to Don Johnson (the second of which resulted in Anastasia Steele aka Dakota Johnson). Her second husband was Steven Bauer, and we all know how she and Antonio Banderas were married for a while. Now 61, Melanie doesn’t exactly hold back on her opinions of her ex-husbands. She calls her time with Antonio “tumultuous,” but I’m sure I’d get tired having to dry clean all those Zoro masks, too. Well, that and all the seizures he induced. She and Don were “imprinted on each other,” so it doesn’t exactly shock me that said imprint resulted in Dakota. While she’s still friends with all of her exes, Melanie has her needs…but don’t expect her to want a dude to put a ring on it:

““I really don’t think it’s relevant for anyone anymore. But especially if you’re 60 and you have four kids and you’re living the life you’ve always wanted. Then why get married? It’s, like, I would love to fall in love and have a romance, a relationship, but I haven’t. I keep looking. I’ve had a couple of lovers but not a relationship.”

In case you were wondering, those lovers didn’t come off a dating app because she thinks those are “so tacky.” She also says she doesn’t need her kids to find her a man but does tell the reporter, “If you know somebody, please tell me.” Somehow, I feel like Melanie is going to get a call tonight from Kris in true madam form cooing, “Good evening, Mel. Care to do an outcall? I have a LOVELY gentleman for you, and he’ll even pick up the tab on this month’s mortgage!”

Pic: Wenn.com

David Beckham was allegedly sick of Victoria Beckham posting their kids’ faces on social media and was refusing to pose on the cover of an upcoming issue of British Vogue with the entire family. But he has decided to go along with it. Posh must have threatened to upload pictures of Becks serving as a size model for her ready-to-wear fall 2018 ladies unmentionables collection!

The Daily Mail  says David has agreed  to do the cover because they’re sick of people like us blabbing about how they’re heading for a divorce. When David originally said no to the cover, the plan was for Victoria and their four kids to be on the cover. David was only going to be featured in photos on the inside pages.

Well, as y’all know, the summer has been plagued with oppressive AF humidity and oppressive AF divorce and cheating rumors about David and Victoria, so now he figures they should do something to make those rumors to go away even though a source says he doesn’t want to look like he’s playing second fiddle to her:

“Initially David wanted to leave it to Victoria – he didn’t want to be her appendage. Their businesses are run separately, so given that the whole interview and photoshoot was to mark the anniversary of her company, David felt he should leave it to her. Then, of course, the rumour situation happened, which David and Victoria think was started by her posing without him.”

Those two also thought rumors may have sparked because the Victoria and kids-only cover made her look like a single, working mother. Some think it’s a little rich that the focus of the article is all about her success as a fashion designer given that the company has lost money over the last year and required David to loan it some money from his business to keep it afloat. I’m sure when David weighed between sitting pretty and getting his hair straightened for free for an afternoon of Vogue photos or the alternative of Victoria following through on her threats to actually sing her own music for a week if he didn’t get his ass to the photoshoot, the choice was really a no-brainer!

Pic: Wenn.com

Despite the fact that most people can swallow her BS about as well as one might choke down a well-done Trump Steak, Omarosa Manigault-Newman is probably smiling wide today. Because Omarosa has leaked what she believes is proof that Donald Trump has been recorded saying the n-word.

Ever since Omarosa was let go/fired/quit her job as Director of Communications at the White House, she’s been shopping a tell-all while claiming she was practically a one-woman recording studio inside 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. She said she had recordings from private conversations inside the West Wing. She then appeared on Meet The Press and played a recording from the day she was told to hit the road. Yesterday, she appeared on Today with a recording with Trump that allegedly took place after she was let go. In Omarosa’s book Unhinged, she claims she heard from someone that political consultant Frank Luntz heard Trump use the n-word in conversation during the filming of The Apprentice. Frank denied that.

I’m in @Omarosa’s book on page 149. She claims to have heard from someone who heard from me that I heard Trump use the N-word.

Not only is this flat-out false (I’ve never heard such a thing), but Omarosa didn’t even make an effort to call or email me to verify. Very shoddy work.

— Frank Luntz (@FrankLuntz) August 10, 2018

Trump also denied it happened, while simultaneously calling Omarosa both “wacky” and “deranged.”

.@MarkBurnettTV called to say that there are NO TAPES of the Apprentice where I used such a terrible and disgusting word as attributed by Wacky and Deranged Omarosa. I don’t have that word in my vocabulary, and never have. She made it up. Look at her MANY recent quotes saying….

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 14, 2018

….such wonderful and powerful things about me – a true Champion of Civil Rights – until she got fired. Omarosa had Zero credibility with the Media (they didn’t want interviews) when she worked in the White House. Now that she says bad about me, they will talk to her. Fake News!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 14, 2018

Omarosa was clearly feeling some of that puffed-out chest energy, and released a tape to CBS News of her discussing the alleged n-word recording with Trump staffers during the US Presidential election in 2016. According to The Huffington Post, the voices included with Omarosa’s are those of Katrina Pierson (a spokeswoman for the campaign), Lynne Patton (then an assistant to Eric Trump), and Jason Miller (chief spokesman for the campaign).

POTUS says former White House staffer @Omarosa lied when she called him a racist who has said the N-word on tape. But a new recording, obtained by @CBSNews overnight, seems to back up Omarosa's story that several Trump advisers discussed an alleged tape during the 2016 campaign. pic.twitter.com/tV3R6P2TvE

— CBS This Morning (@CBSThisMorning) August 14, 2018

In the recording, you can hear everyone discuss what they think the context of the alleged n-word was said, and how to possibly spin it. Katrina Pierson claims she spoke with Trump about when he might have used the word, to which he denies he did, then instructs her to “put it to bed.” She later says he was “embarrassed” about it. During an interview with Fox News on Sunday night, Katrina claimed the phone conversation never took place. Please, let us all bust out a hearty Nelson Muntz-style “HA-HA” at that.

Normally someone in this much hot, stinky swamp water might hold their tongue and not say anything. But because we’re dealing with Trump, he responded by calling Omarosa a “dog.”

When you give a crazed, crying lowlife a break, and give her a job at the White House, I guess it just didn’t work out. Good work by General Kelly for quickly firing that dog!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 14, 2018

We still don’t know for sure if there is a tape of Trump saying the n-word, but we’ve got a tape of a conversation about it. I think the best part of this conversation is listening to all those dozens of brain cells try to figure out what the context might have been. Newsflash: There is N-E-V-E-R the right context or situation for an old white guy to drop the n-word! But the second best might be the moment I learned Eric Trump has an assistant. Can you imagine a more thankless job? “No Eric, your pants go on your legs, not your arms. Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll get it next week.”

Pic: Wenn.com

Almost everything I know about rehab I’ve learned from repeat viewings of the Sandra Bullock movie 28 Days. So when it was reported that Demi Lovato had checked into a rehab facility after her suspected drug overdose last month, I pictured Demi sucking lots of suckers, killing it during a group sing-a-long of “Lean On Me,” and throwing her bags into a taxi at the end of 28 days. That’s not what’s going to happen. Well, who knows about the suckers and sing-a-long, but she definitely won’t be staying for under a month.

E! News says Demi is in a very serious program at a rehab facility in Chicago. A source adds that Demi is undergoing treatment with a therapist who specializes in sobriety, mental health, and wellness, and she’ll be there for a while.

“She will be in rehab for several months and is doing an extensive program to ensure she gets the help she needs.”

Demi is also eliminating all distractions so she can focus on getting well. She’s cancelled the rest of the dates on her Tell Me You Love Me world tour. She’s also limiting her contact with people outside of rehab, including her ex Wilmer Valderrama. Wilmer was rumored to be one of Demi’s most frequent visitors in the hospital, but apparently his last contact with her was when she was still in Los Angeles.

“Wilmer has been in touch with the family and has been checking in on Demi’s status,” but has been unable to speak to [Demi] as she undergoes treatment. The source explained, “The family is trying to make sure they eliminate all distractions and want her to be focusing on her health right now.”

The source goes on to explain that Demi is “doing much better” and that she’s become more open and happy that she’s getting the help she needs. She understands that she almost died, and she “wants to make a statement to her fans, family and friends that she is strong and can recover.” We now maybe know what kind of drug led her to rehab.

According to TMZ, sources say that Demi’s alleged overdose situation started around 4am when she invited her dealer to her house. They allegedly freebased Oxycodone. Demi had reportedly been buying from said dealer since April, and that he had a reputation of buying dirty drugs. According to TMZ’s sources, Demi’s Oxy contained fentanyl. Luckily, Demi had a friend carrying Narcan close by. Both Prince and Tom Petty died from accidental fentanyl overdoses.

The sources tell TMZ that Demi’s dealer fled the scene when he realized she was in bed, breathing heavy. Several hours later, she was discovered and 911 was called. If all of that is true, then that drug dealer has one hell of a customer service problem. It’s a good thing you can’t rate this kind of business on Yelp. It would just be review after review of: “This is the ‘finding a family of rats in the kitchen’ of drug dealers.”

Pic: Wenn.com

Variety is reporting that a Hong Kong news outlet says that Fan Bingbing, the highest-paid actress in China, has been banned from acting for three years while she’s being investigated for some good-old-fashioned tax evasion. Fan is joining the ranks of superstar celebrities like, The Situation, DMX, Kunty Karl Lagerfeld and Cristiano Ronaldo who all thought that they got the government and then got got by the government.

Fan has been missing from social media for three weeks and was last seen in public back in early July. This drama all started for Bingbing back in May when a Chinese reporter published documents appearing to show her fingers stuck in a few cookie jars. The documents seemed to show she was getting paid through two separate contracts for one film, implying that only one of the two payments would be declared to China’s tax man. She’s denied this but Chinese officials were like “Sure Jan,” and launched an investigation.

China is no joke when it comes to banning actors, having banned big stars and directors in the past. Actor-director Jiang Wen and director Zhang Yimou were both banned previously but it was because their films were deemed politically unacceptable by censors. It is rarely announced or confirmed that someone is banned, except when the legal system is involved; like what happened to Jackie Chan’s son Jaycee, who got in trouble for drugs.

Fan’s Workshop, Fan Bingbing’s talent management firm, declined to comment on the alleged acting ban and her international representation, CAA, also declined to comment. It’s not clear if this acting ban is effective in China alone or everywhere else too.

This is not great timing for Fan Bingbing–not that there is ever a good time to get audited by the tax man. Her name was taken off publicity for the Chinese war film “Unbreakable Spirit” also starring Bruce Willis and Adrien Brody. The movie was supposed to come out this month in China but now it seems like it will be out in October. She was also supposed to be in “355” that all-female spy movie Jessica Chastain produced, which was the hottest-selling film at Cannes; earning an estimated $20 million for the China rights. She also already completed work on “The King’s Daughter” so there were a lot of plates she had spinning before she got slapped with this cease and desist shit.

The Chinese government doesn’t play, but if she can’t work for three years, how is she going to pay them? Or are they just going to clear her accounts out. If that’s the case, expect a hot “new” actress named Ban Fingfing who looks exactly like Fan Binging  to pop upon the scene. And I’m wondering if the ban also keeps Fan Bingbing from serving devastating looks on the red carpet like she normally does? I obviously care about what really matters.

Pic: Wenn.com.

Disney released the first picture of Liu Yifei as the title role in their live-action Mulan movie, which doesn’t come out until 2020. Disney’s live-action Mulan isn’t going to be much of a musical, there might not be an Eddie Murphy-voiced talking dragon, and bisexual icon Li Shang isn’t going to be in it. So because of that, I’ve got a finger up like Mulan in that first picture, but I’ve just got my middle finger up at Disney for robbing us of the sight of Li Shang’s live-action nipples – Just Jared

Zac Efron won Choice Drama Movie Actor at the Teen Choice Awards, to which the teens probably said, “Who’s that grandpa?!” – Lainey Gossip

The Meg, which sadly isn’t a Meg Ryan biopic, won the weekend’s box office, because people love sharks and a topless Jason Statham – Pajiba

Noah Cyrus, seen here giving me baby Detox in the face, seemed really excited to be at the Teen Choice Awards – Celebitchy

The porn parody of The Strangers looks even more weird than the original – (NSFWish) Drunken Stepfather

In completely OMGSHOCKING news, the split between Danielle Staub and her husband of five seconds has gotten messier – Reality Tea

Even Billy Corgan’s pussy looks shocked about him being on the cover of a local cat magazine again – OMG Blog

Jack Whitehall, who is straight, is playing a campy gay character in Disney’s The Jungle Cruise, and people aren’t having it. Having been on that ride many times, why do I have a feeling that the campy gay character is the safari dude who almost gets butt fucked by a rhino? – Towleroad

It’s the little things in life that lift me up, like seeing Emily RideAJetSki riding a jet ski again – Hollywood Tuna

NO to Vanessa Hudgens’ 90s granny glasses – Popoholic

Tootie, Natalie, and Sue Ann from Facts of Life reunited to remember Mrs. Garrett – SOW

Pic: Disney

Just because it seemed like Hailey Baldwin and Justin Bieber seemed to give as much time thinking about their engagement as the rest of us do debating whether or not Westworld is worth watching, we shouldn’t just assume they are in some mad dash to make it down the aisle. They know a thing or two about etiquette! Yeah, no they don’t. In news surely meant to prolong the suffering for one Miss Selena Gomez, Hailey and Justin are said to be holding off on getting married until sometime next year.

Page Six and TMZ are saying we shouldn’t take what seemed like a willy-nilly engagement as that, because Justin did things the proper way and asked her dad, Stephen Baldwin, for permission before he popped the question with a $400,000 rock. Silly me, I just figured the proper way to do anything with Stephen is turn on Fox News and distract him with a boxed set of Sean Hannity books. A snitch added, “Plus, it really was a further twist of the knife to Selena – all that dick ever gave her was crabs!” OK, fine, we don’t know that, and I made that up. The snitch actually said, “Justin’s been in love with her for a long time, so this didn’t just come from out of the blue.” Barf.

The TMZ report also takes time to shit on Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, saying Hailey and Justin waiting until 2019 shouldn’t be viewed as them second-guessing like those two. Instead, they just think that they’ve already made the commitment, and that’s the most important part. OR it could be that the Sheraton Niagara Falls was all booked up for the rest of the year, and if you’re Canadian like Justin, you HAVE to get married at Niagara Falls and have a DJ playlist composed at least 40% with Celine Dion or the homeland won’t recognize your marriage. That’s definitely it.

Pic: Backgrid