For as long as I can remember, after-school activities included a snack, lying to my mom that I did my homework, and really getting my brain and ass handed to me trying to answer along to Jeopardy and that smug host Alex Trebek. Even now, I lie to my boss that I finished all my work, go home, make a snack and try to guess along as though I have the faintest idea as to what the capitals of Eastern Europe are. Hell, I can’t even tell you the capital of East Carolina is. Yes, I know that isn’t a state. Just wanted to see if you were still with me. Anyway, Alex has been at that podium for years pretending to give a shit about the hobbies of contestants are, and he’s ready for a new gig or just days spent without having to ask a trivia question. His contract is up in 2020, and he’s hinted he may not re-up.

TMZ says Alex told them it’s more than 50/50 he’ll quit the game show lyfe when his contract is up for renewal, and he thinks the announcer for the L.A. Kings hockey team should take over. Who??? Alex Faust is the 28-year-old announcer for the Kings and only just replaced Bob Miller, who was the previous announcer for 44 (!) seasons. Here’s a whole video on Alex when he took over for Bob:

Alex T. seems to like the kid, and I’m sure that will mean something since he’s heavily involved in the production of Jeopardy. I also smell a Canadian conspiracy with this hockey bro-fest. What’s next? Replace the entire producer line-up with top-performing Tim Hortons cashiers?? Alex also likes the idea of CNN legal analyst Laura Coates taking over the position, which will automatically cause every memaw and pepaw in Middle America to give up Jeopardy for Family Feud because nothing spoils an afternoon of Werther’s Originals, Ovaltine, and trivia like someone from that FAKE NEWS! station forcing her liberal agenda on everyone by asking a Daily Double about who the president of Argentina is.

Pic: Wenn.com