Late Show host Stephen Colbert was not the least bit impressed with Robert Mueller’s attempt to explain in “plain terms” if he actually totally exonerated President Donald Trump.

Colbert used his opening monologue Wednesday night to dissect the main news of the day, Mueller’s dry “marathon” testimony in front of Congress.

The host started off by revealing one of the most surprising things about Mueller revealed during the non-stop news coverage of the testimony, his “gangster nickname.”

Mueller, it seems, is also known as “Bobby Three Sticks.”

Colbert, in a bad, mob-style accent, suggested how “Bobby Three Sticks” may be used in a very mob-like sentence.

“Ehhh, not for nuthin’, but Bobby Three Sticks is keepin’ an eye on Big Donny Fish Lips, head of the Trumpino crime family. Rumor has it that Donny Fish Lips is in cahoots with Vladdie No Short,” he said.

Moving on from Mueller’s moniker, Colbert also honed in on an especially stammering section of Mueller’s testimony, when he was asked by House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler about Trump’s “total exoneration.”

“So the report did not conclude that he did not commit obstruction of justice, is that correct?” Nadler asked, following up with “And what about total exoneration? Did you actually totally exonerate the president?”

Then after Mueller said “no,” Nadler pressed on.

“Can you explain in plain terms what that finding means so the American people can understand it?” Nadler asked.

That is when the Mueller’s not at all “plain term” stammering began, eventually ending with Mueller using this SAT word to explain what he meant: “The president was not exculpated for the acts that he allegedly committed.”

“C’mon!” Colbert said at the end of the clip.

Next, honing in on his use of big words, Colbert continued on: “‘Exculpated?!’ Did you not hear the guy say ‘so the American people can understand it?’ Did your granddaughter give you a word-of-the-day calendar? C’mon!”

He then offered Mueller tips on how to speak plainly to Americans.

“Just use America talk, by which I mean emojis: Orange. Handcuffs.”

He added: “We need simple slogans… Wheaties: Breakfast of champions. Trump: The worst a man can get.”

Watch above, via CBS

from Mediaite https://ift.tt/2Oj4Zyl